Tailscale allows you to do the same except you can create keys with limited access to only certain ports (just in case you don’t want them peeking around your server).

If it’s for your personal use and no one else is going to connect, why don’t you just configure a wireguard tunnel to remotely connect to your server as if you were in LAN without exposing anything?

No, that xkcd is relevant because that’s exactly what free speech means. Your government won’t arrest you for saying stuff, but for the same reason you are free to speak, we are free to act within law against you.

And there is no law forbiding people from boycotting or unhosting or simply not listening to what you say.

You are free to speak, we are free to listen.

So you are a racist. Got it.

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You are not going to find “free speech” instances federated with everyone, because what you are looking for is an instance allowing bigotry and racism, things that most of lemmy don’t like.