I don’t have enough seltzer for this shit

You don’t know my stats, dawg. I rolled sick in luck; my life partner was a virgin when I met him. I mean, he still is a virgin, but he used to be one too!

Bitch I’m 36 and here on this Lemmy ish to meet the women who will give birth to my first through sixth wives. I have plans for seven onwards. Illuminati shit, y’know? But what I do for the CIA is I easily discredit myself by shaking a loose vestibule of fecal matter from my pant leg before providing education on any number of fun subjects like how MKULTRA was our initial enlightenment program that went and evolved its memetic ass into Star Gate by adding a larger counterintelligence role to the project and this has since and perpetuatively splintered into the modern Anonymous whatchsmacallit or whatever the kids are rizzing their pants about today, and then I follow that completely true series of facts with a rendition of the arts:

8=====D

I make more money than you doing this. Anyways, have a nice day! I have d-tier sex crimes to go boast about. Toodles!

Also while being banned on this account from like half the the communities.

Bro, I’m righting the most I can, being as skilled at that as I am while not just recycling comments and battling mental health out the wazoo. I think I’m a Mormon now, though, so I should be able to quit drinking like I quit meth and Benadryl.